Helping Aging Parents Make the Decision to Move From Home to Assisted Living

The population of the United States is weighted heavily on the side of the elderly. Even some baby boomers are becoming old enough or disabled enough that continuing to live at home is a risky proposition. For many children of seniors, the onus is on their back to help their parents see the wisdom in moving to an assisted living facility: but helping parents agree to such a move can be daunting at the very least. Here are some tips for helping aging parents make the transition from home to a retirement community.

The beginning of any transition always has to be approaching the subject with your parents. This is often the most difficult part of the whole process. Many parents simply don’t want to admit that they are no longer in a position of being able to live independently: it’s a matter of pride, and it’s also a matter of nostalgia for the comfortable and the familiar. In a perfect world, children of aging parents will have already had this conversation long before a move is needed: so if possible, broach the subject well ahead of time.

No matter what the circumstances of the discussion, treat your parents with respect: do not speak in language that includes “you must” or “you have to” because they will be immediately put off. It is helpful to make a list ahead of time so that your thoughts and feelings are organized and clear, because the conversation will inevitably turn emotional and you want to keep a cool head and a clear sense of purpose.

A great approach is to put the blame on yourself: your worries and concerns for them. Parents are more likely to be compliant if they see that their living situation is affecting their children. No one likes to be a burden.

Despite your best efforts at diplomacy, many parents will still remain strongly resistant to the idea. If so, back off immediately, but keep trying until they agree. Hopefully it will not take a tragic event to convince them, but oftentimes such an occurrence will provide the final impetus needed to convince them.

Take your parents on a tour of several of the best assisted living facilities in your area, and listen thoughtfully to their questions and concerns. Once they see how wonderful many of these places are, that will most likely help them decide on their own that it’s time to move on to a new chapter in their lives.

It will not be easy, but it will be worth it in the long run: but it all starts with a conversation.

Mennowood Retirement Community (http://www.mennowood.com/) offers assisted living for seniors in Newport News and Williamsburg VA. In Newport News. Ryan Coisson is a freelance writer.